bangbangbang

It all happened so fast. i just dont know what to do. i cant think straight and i feel so beat up inside. its just so stupid because its not like i wanted this. shit i never wanted this. what i still want, i cant have. i was so happy. i couldnt wait to see him. i couldnt wait to talk to him. to hear his voice. to see his beautiful eyes. And with in the time spanned of 24 hours everything has changed. i want to still talk to him. im so selfish in that way. i want him to be there for me when i need him. and i want to be there for him. but we cant be. the pain of it all is still so fresh. being around each other just causes the other pain. there are three things i never want. for someone to be upset over me. losing friends. and disappointing people. this week i did all three. Its just one of those situations i cant see getting better. which makes me feel like throwing up.

what do i do when everything is going wrong?

lay in bed and staring at the ceiling...